Ministering: Pastor Oluyide Ukachi
The following scriptures make it clear that there is such thing as destiny.
- Simply put for the Christian destiny is the plan of God for your life, that future and a hope that He has cut out for you – Jeremiah 29: 11 –
- “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” NIV
- “For I know the thought that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not evil to give you a future and a hope –
- “Thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you an expected end” (KJV),
- “….They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope” NLT.
- God’s plan for your life, your marriage, children and ministry is good and not evil. God is for you and not against you.
- In the late 70s and 80s in particular we used to think that our ministry comes before our marriage and family, that was zeal without knowledge, but thank God we now know better.
- After God is your spouse and marriage, then your children before ministry.
- There are three kinds of home setting:
- To fulfil God given destiny for your marriage, children and ministry take note of the following:
- Never put your spouse and children on the back burner; always give them top priority. There are many examples of seemingly buoyant ministries but failed marriages and failed parenthood. Eli, Samuel, David and contemporary examples, and the difference one American father made.
- Your spouse and children need your time, attention, care, love and support. The children especially need guidance and directions from you. Don’t fail them.
- We take time to fulfil our obligations to other people; we need to do even more for our family. As ministers we take time to coach and groom and mentor other people and their children, we should do the same for our own biological children; they will remain with us for life.
- Don’t let relations or other people cut the shots in your marriage and family life ….their interference or interest will be mostly self-motivated.
- Never put relations before your marriage and family
- To fulfill your matrimonial destiny be truly one – Matthew 19: 6 “They are no longer two but one”.
- How to be truly one:
Enter each other’s world – know what is happening and where it hurts
Try to be on the same page
Be on each other’s team
Be kind, be courteous, be respectful, be gentle, and be nice!
- Do to your spouse and children how you will want them to do to you – that’s the golden rule.
- Be fair to your spouse first and foremost and also treat the two sides of the in-laws with equal consideration.
- Remember your parents and repay them; take care of your extended relations who are in need as much as you can and God will enlarge your coast beyond your imagination.
- Be generous to the needy as a couple and God will repay you.
- Listen to your spouse and take correction. In a marriage that will fulfill its destiny no one is gagged, oppressed, or bullied, or intimidated.
- A life of insincerity, deceit or oppression in the marriage, in the home or ministry will never get us to our God desired expected end. It is the foundation and building block of sin, fall and failure.
- Establish accountability partners in your areas of weakness and even strength.
- Every marriage will have its own challenge but we don’t have to repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us. The counsel of Clinton to Obama on becoming President.
- Jointly pray over all the challenges of your marriage and family life and ministry. Take time to go on retreats a few times in the year. That may be the tonic your marriage and family need.
- Those whose ministry are in high demand should be careful not to loose their own family after saving others, this is an easy trap ministers fall into….. lessons from Prophet Samuel and Dr. James Dobson (Snr)
- Some types of problems will not go but by prayer and fasting. Also consider family deliverance if you think you or your family is under the influence of terrible spiritual strongholds. Some problems run in the family. Tackle them before they tackle you.
- Don’t put your children before your spouse…never have that “If not because of my children” syndrome. Your spouse should have value before your eyes. Always esteem your spouse and affirm your children even if its not always easy.
- Be of one accord in correcting the children
- Always teach by example.
- Honour each other in the presence of the children. They will learn to do the same.
- Invest in times of prayer and seeking the face of God for your spouse and family. God will always give you a way out.
- If the relationships between us and our spouse and family are cordial and beautiful then the challenges we may face in ministry will be a walk-over.
Go and be a doer and not just a hearer of the Word.
God bless you. Thank you for your attention.